Fatal Things to Say if Your Wife is Pregnant

* I finished the Oreo's.

* Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40 pounds.

* Y'know, to look at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby!

* I hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!

* Darned if you aren't five pounds away from a surprise visit from Richard Simmons.

* Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt.

* Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!

* I'm so jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?

* Are your ankles supposed to look like that?

* Get your *own* ice cream.

* Geez, you look awfully puffy today.

* Got milk?

* Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Theresa?

* Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!

* Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water...

* Your stomach sticks out almost as much as your butt!

* Well, can't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl!

* You don't have the guts to pull that trigger...


Compliments of WowFunny.com, The Diaper Baker hoped you enjoyed this little tidbit of pregnancy humor!